So I'm a really bad blogger...

I've been neglecting this blog for months. My bad. Let's see... what in my life is interesting enough to share? I guess I can start with work. When I first moved out here and started my position at Dr. Sandy's Home Veterinary Care, I had NO idea what I was in for. Little did I know, my position as receptionist and Dr.'s Assistant would lead me to celebrity homes. First I went to Rick Springfield's (Jessy's girl) house to do acupuncture on his dog Scoobie. Then I went to Steven Seagal's house to do a exam and heartworm test in his German Shepherd Hamlet. Just an FYI- Rick Springfield was much nicer and gave me a hug goodbye, but Seagal only nodded his head in acknowledgment. I've also spoken to Bob Fogerty on the phone. Our clients let us into their homes and into their lives. Some are ordinary people, others are directors, editors, and actors. Others require our services because they have physical limitations. The one thing I really like about my position is that I get to develop real relationships with our clients. I know what's going on in their lives, and they genuinely care about what's going on in mine. Since there are only four employees they all know us by name and it feels good knowing we make their day better. Don't get me wrong- I absolutely LOATHED my job for awhile, but there's no point in rehashing that now. So, that's where I stand at work.

So, my mom would be proud because I'm making new friends. Haha. Our apartment complex is pretty much a dorm. The kids from Video Symphony (an editing school), the Mud (make up design school) girls, and the hairdresser school girls (and guys) all live in our building. We met one girl- Shannon who's originally from Rochester, and she is amazing. She's super funny and outgoing. She's made a lot of friends in the building and then introduced them to me. She's also an Eagles fan, which means I don't have to go to the bar alone anymore to watch the games! We also made friends with a group of guys who went to video symphony. One of their friends tried to pick Melanie up at a bar, then we later realized they lived in the same building as us on the first floor. Jude, Nick, and Owen live downstairs- but they've also introduced us to their other friends and hence the circle grows. So, we've made a lot of new friends from lots of different places with lots of different stories. Then there's Kelly and that group of people. Again- lots of new friends from lots of different places with lots of interesting stories to tell.

Today Jackie and I went to the Brewery Artwalk. I was expecting it to be expo style. I thought I'd enter a big open room with booths displaying local artist's work. What it really is is artists opening up their studios/homes to the public. It's a huge community of hundreds of artists living together. The studios are absolutely breathtaking. Most are lofts with views of downtown. Jackie has decided she's going to live in one one day. The most refreshing thing was how down to earth and friendly even the most established artists were. They were just happy to be able to share their gifts and talents with anyone who wanted to see it. It's this type of thing that you can only see in LA. It's this type of thing that makes me sure I made the right decision in picking up and leaving everything I know behind me.

I'm learning a lot about myself and the person I want to be. I'm also learning about the person I don't necessarily want to be. I didn't apply to vet school this fall. In a lot of ways I feel like I've failed myself and my mom because of that. At the same time I feel like California and Los Angeles has a lot to teach me- about myself and life in general. I really value the time I've spent out here. I'm doing things I never imagined I'd do. It's a completely different lifestyle. A lifestyle I'm glad I'm getting a chance to experience. People ask if I miss home, and my answer is- EVERYDAY, but I know that this was the right choice for me. I miss my family and I miss my friends, but I was stifled in New Jersey. Here I have the freedom to do what I want and be who I want to be. I have no idea when I'll return to the east coast. I have no idea where this journey is going to take me. All I can do is hold on and enjoy the ride.

Wow it's been a while...

Ok, so the whole I'm going to try and update this thing more ofter is clearly not working out... A lot has happened since my last post. Let's see- Work is going pretty well. I'm technically Sr. Staff/ Hospital Manager even though I've only been there a month or so. The entire office aka the three people who work there (including me) are new. Really new. It's kind of intense but I'm in charge of inventory and orders and paying bills, so I think it's going to be good exposure. Plus I'm going to start riding in the van more consistently which means I'll have more interaction with the actual animals which makes me happy. Overtime is always a plus : )

So, now that work's been covered let me try and recap what's been going on socially... this could take a while. We'll start with celebrity sightings. We went to the midnight show of the Labyrinth at a little indie theatre and Drew Barrymore, Ellen Page, and the cousin from Arrested Development were there. They all seemed to be having a fabulous time. I also went hiking with my new friend Kelly. Kelly works at the Pizza place down the street and we were stopping in for dinner once a week and we got to know him that way and a friendship has developed. He also had Melanie and I over and made us this huge dinner- chicken, steak and fish. It was delish, and much appreciated- even if we didn't eat until 11 pm. Then yesterday we all went to the Angel City Theatre which is just a big screen on the top of a parking structure and they were playing The Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon dubbed over the sound. Lets just say the evening ended with me calling my mom at 4 AM EST and crying because I'm so irresponsible because I thought I lost my purse (which I did not by the way). Melanie moved it from the backseat and forgot to tell me while I was freaking out. . . ok she just forgot that she moved it.

We've also hit up a couple beaches in the area- I think I've already covered Venice in a previous post. We went to Marina Del Ray the other day as well. I've now been hiking in Malibu and Placareta Canyon. Melanie and I have also gone to a couple parks by our house. We tried to have a picnic and it was an epic fail. Not only was it way cold but we went to the nature center instead of the park and sat on a bench under the blanket while some little kid was having a birthday party. It was a little awkward and we felt a little like creepers.... little did we know the picnic area was down the road- live and learn. Oh! We saw a bobcat! ( Not really Mel just wants to tell people we did and took a blurry picture of a bobcat).

There's so much else to talk about but I'll end on BAMBOOZLE!!!! Oh my gosh it was the most fun I've had in a really long time. We got there a little late because traffic was really bad, but we managed to catch the end of Mercey's set. Then we found them afterwards to say hello. I even rode the carnival ride with the drummer, Mickey- haha. Almost lost Melanie's car keys in the process- that would have been a disaster. We totally rocked out all day and danced in the middle of crowds of people who were not dancing and sang along to songs we knew. We have a new favorite band now- Anarbor, look em up. But I have to say my favorite part was getting to see The Get Up Kids- I loved every single song they played. The boys behind us were way into it and flew all the way from Ohio to see them play. That's dedication. It made me feel like I was in high school again- and we all know how much I love that feeling. I really wished Jennie could have been there with me- it would have made my life complete. After a long day of dancing, singing, and drinking Fall Out Boy came on stage and we peaced outtt haha. It was seriously the most fun I've had in a really really long time. I'm so happy Melanie stopped being such a brat about going and committed- we were not disappointed. Melanie felt like such an asshole about being a brat because she had just as much fun as I did.

Love you and miss you all! Unless I don't know you and why are you reading my blog? Farewell from the West Coast

Most amazing day ever :-)

so I've had a pretty amazingly ridiculous 24 hours. Last night I came home from work and took a little nap before heading to Los Feliz to meet Phil for dinner and drinks. After a little confusion we ended up at this little Italian place. Good conversation, good friends, good bread. Then we thought we'd go to a bar. We walked although way to a bar and it was closed... so we starting walking to another on and I happen to mention that I like dive bars. So, Phil changes the plans on us and takes us to Ye Rustic Inn, and there happen to be a booth open in the back- sweet. So we sit down and Jackie says- I'm not drinking. Then Mel says- I'm not drinking, and I say I wasn't going to drink! Why the hell are we at a bar?? So we decide we'll stay and have one beer because we're already there and we might as well. Well a couple minutes later Mel decides she's going to go drink for drink with Phil. Long story short- Mel and Phil are drunk and Jackie and I are not. While Mel and Phil are sharing there $9.00 Melonball I look over and say to Jackie- hey that guy kinda looks like Jack Bauer. Jackie tilts her head and says yea he does. Then I realize that IS Jack Bauer!! Keifer Sutherland was sitting ten feet away from me! TEN FEET! And he was drunk. Two girls try to sit down and talk to him and he is NOT happy about that. Probably because he's drunk and has issues with Alcohol. As we're leaving at last call we hear him order a triple- bad news, haha. We were all in such shock. That was probably my biggest celebrity sighting since I've been here.

So we get home chat for a little and then go to bed. I set my alarm and get up at 9 to watch the SU/Arizona game. As I was watching the game Melanie was in the kitchen whipping up some AMAZING breakfast- eggs, pancakes, turkey bacon, toast it was amazing. Then- SU won the game! Sweet 16 babydolls. YAYAYAY! So, quick recap- Jack Bauer, breakfast, and SU winners. So now it's noon and we have all day left! So exciting.

So Mel and I decide to go hit up Venice beach and see what it's about. It's hard to explain. First off, it was a little chilly today and apparently very windy. We got there and it was like we were walking in a cyclone. There were people everywhere who looked like they enjoy the reefer and then there were the tourists. I think I would consider it a trashier place than Wildwood if you can believe it. I can only imagine what it would be like when the weather's nice. We couldn't even walk on the beach because it was a sandstorm of wind. We had sand in our ears and hair and it was amazingly ridiculous. We couldn't stop laughing. Mel went into every smoke shop so she could compare prices, haha. After we walked the strip for awhile we decided we had enough. Especially after some guy was trying to sell pit bull puppies off the street : ( Made me very sad.

So, we're about a block from the car when Mr. Dennis Jacobs calls Mel and says he needs girls to play dodgeball NOW. So we put the intersection into the GPS and are on our way. We got there and wondered around until we realized that dodgeball would be played inside. We walked into the most intense games of dodgeball I had ever seen. The guys that we know were all shirtless and yelling commands and stratagizing. It was intense. Brought back bad memories of crutches and broken ankles for me... haha. So we congratulated the boys on games well played. I guess next weekend are the playoffs. Mel wants to play- I'd cheer her on. We came home watched a little tv, took the dog for a walk and here I am. It's been the most random day but I was smiling all day. This was probably one of the BEST days I've had in a long time. I was happy for an extended period of time. Truly happy. I haven't felt truly happy since everything happened in June. Granted it took this long, but I think it's a pretty amazing sign. It makes moving here make sense again. I've been stressed in the last weeks, but today makes all that seem irrelevant. I'm sad the day has to end, but it's back to work in the morning. Goodnight everyone!

Finally

So, it's the moment you've all been waiting for... I'm finally updating my blog. Please hold your applause. Ugh, so much time has passed I'm not sure where I left off. We'll start on the employment front I guess. So, I'm currently employed by Dr. Sandy's Home Veterinary Care. Basically Dr. Sandy has a van and she goes to appointments throughout the San Fernando Valley. Right now I'm working in the "office" meaning her house. I have to take my shoes off when I get to work, so I wonder around barefoot. I really don't know how I feel about working for Dr. Sandy. I mean beggars can't be choosers, and when you move across the country with no job- you're a beggar. It just makes me sad because I don't get any interaction with the animals. I don't get to see and surgeries, I basically don't get any of the perks I had at CCVH. Don't get me wrong- I don't regret moving out here in the least. I think that this is something I needed, but I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm settling. I don't settle. It's not in me, yet here I am. The other problem is that Dr. Sandy loves me. She's so happy I've joined her "family" so far she's bought me a McFlurry and gave me a card and bought pizza and ice cream for us to eat on Friday. So, the fact that I'm interviewing at other places makes me feel a little guilty.... ok a lot guilty. But I keep telling myself that this is my LIFE, this is my FUTURE. I can't sacrafice that because I feel bad for someone I barely know. She was fine for 12 years without me- I think she'll be ok if I left. HOWEVER, to make matters more complicated she wants to start training me in the Van. So, I will be going out and seeing the animals. But I just don't know how much I'm going to learn from her. However, it's not like I have other options... It's all very emotionally draining. So I think this is going to be my plan- I'm only going to apply for jobs that are for assistants (except the one that I may have a working interview for on Wed.) and see what happens. I mean it's not like people are breaking down my door to give me a job. So that's the bottom line.

Anyway, the rest of my life is pretty fabulous. I love my roommates, I love my apartment, I love my neighborhood. I've been meeting some new people and hanging out with SU kids that I know but not very well. It's like an extended college. But instead of paying to work my ass off. I'm getting paid to exert less work. Pretty sweet. However, I would love to find a way to work more than one job... I would also love to know that I wasn't going to possibly switching jobs... ugh. Ok now I'm annoyed and I don't want to write anymore becuase it always comes back to work. Life is funny that way. Soooooo0- I know I promised pictures so here are some pictures of my room/loft. Enjoy.

My room is above the kitchen.

















I know I say this every time, but I'm really going to update this thing more ofter : )

Slacking

Sorry for the lack of updates! Update soon I promise : ) I'll even throw in some pictures of my apartment for being patient.

Happy Birthday Baby

So, I'm at a standstill. I had an interview yesterday for a job. I won't say too much because I don't want to jinx it, but I will say this- it would be a lot like my old job, but with more responsibility and more hands on experience (yay!). But I won't know if I got the job for at least a week or so. In the mean time, I was offered a job with the mobile vet, but it would be much less hands on since I'd be working out of her home. So, here's my dilemma. Hold out and see if I get the "dream" job risking losing a sure thing in a time of economic crisis, or take the sure thing and settle for less than ideal. Things are not running as smoothly as desired, but oh well.

In the meantime I called Dr. Sandy today to be completely honest with her, but she's out on calls today so it will have to wait until tomorrow... so today I sit and do laundry and try not to get wrapped up in emotional turmoil (haha). Haha, so the dog has been a pain in the butt. He's so attached to me it makes things tough with anyone else. So I got him an easy leader and he hates in and I LOVE it. Haha, he listens so much better to me now... poor thing.

So, lets see- we covered work, the dog, I guess we should discuss social activities now. So, we (meaning the roommates) decided we were going to make the pizza place down the street "our" place. It didn't hurt that the waiter is a young guy and Melanie is a huge flirt (LOVE YOU MEL!!) haha. No, she's just very sarcastic and funny and makes friends easily, so now we get a discount when we go in. My goal is that when we walk in Kelly (the waiter) brings me a blue moon without me having to ask : ). After dinner (mmmm garlic knots) we came back and decided to turn Mario Party into a drinking game. Let's just say the three of us are ridiculously competitive and probably should not play games. Our friendship may not survive it. I was having taboo flashbacks... WALLPAPER- sorry inside joke. So that's where I stand. I love my roommates and I love the weather. I do miss home, though. It's hard because I don't know when I'll get to see anyone again and it makes me sad. Soooo- COME TO CALIFORNIA PEOPLE!!

Peace and love

oh decisions, decisions

Ok, so it's been a crazy couple days. I really need to try and update this more... So anyway, I had an interview with Dr. Sandy's mobile vet on Tuesday. It went pretty well, so they asked me to come back in on Wednesday to have interview part two with Dr. Sandy herself. It was a pretty intense interview that lasted about an hour and a half. She asked a lot of work related questions as well as personality type questions because she believes everyone should be a happy family and get along and love each other, so she wanted to make sure the personalities didn't clash. The interview ended by telling me I was an earth and metal person, just like her. So, she invited me to go out in the van with her the next day to see how it works and runs.

So, yesterday I got up at 6:15 am to get to work by 8 and they showed me around the van and we headed out on the road. The first appt was just drawing blood for a thyroid test. The second appt was a dental (not under anesthesia) as well as exam/vaccines, the third appt was an exam and broken toe nail, and the last appt was a quality of life appt. We didn't get back to the office/house until 7:30. Then Dr. Sandy and I had a little chat about how happy I would be there since I would mostly be doing office work and wouldn't have to much face to face interaction with the clients. She was really understanding about the whole thing, so she's giving me some time to mull things over.

Meanwhile, I got an email about an assistant position in Pasadena. So, now I have an interview on Monday, but an offer on the table! Crazyness. I don't know, maybe I can work full time in Pasadena but still put some time in at Dr. Sandy's. I mean I could definitely use the extra money. It's all so confusing. I just need a job! Preferably a job I'd enjoy doing and would help me reach my goal of going to vet school eventually. Sheesh. Oh wait, I had that job... and I quit. What a dummy, haha. Things will work themselves out... i just have to be patient. I hope. : )

At least it's the weekend which means roomie fun : )

Time to play catch up

Ok, so I've now been in "sunny" LA (hah it's rained at least 50% of the time since I've been out here!) for two full weeks. I'd like to say I've made more progress than I have but it's going slower than I was hoping. At least I've made some progress. I had an interview and a trial shift last week. The trial shift was very bizarre. I was there for a couple hours and I ended up answering phones and carrying food and things. It was very chaotic and somewhat awkward because they were conducting interviews for the position I was interviewing for...while I was standing there. I really wanted to throw out the turtle but I felt that was inappropriate. So, they said they'd call and let me know later and the week. I haven't heard anything, so I'm going to say they gave the job to someone else. Oh well.

It's not all bad news though, because last Friday I got a phone call about working for a mobile vet in Tarzana. She asked me a bunch of preliminary questions and told me she would be in touch soon. She called me this morning to set up and interview! I'm actually pretty excited about the whole thing because it would definitely be something different. The only downside is that every thing's pretty routine. There's no surgeries to watch or crazy emergencies. But at this point beggars can't be choosers. I do have an interview scheduled in March- but something tells me I'm not quite qualified for that since they need a whole month to interview everyone. I mean I'm going to try anyway, but I think it's a long shot. Hopefully the interview goes well tomorrow and I'll no longer be unemployed!

Anyway, I'll just recap my weekend for those who are interested. So it was Valentine's Day weekend and to be completely honest it was kind of sad for me. Even though I'm moving on with my life and starting a brand new chapter the holidays always make me a little sad for the past. Thankfully, I have amazing roommates who make all that emotional stuff more bearable. So, Mel and I thought we would have a nice quiet Friday night and just grab a beer or two at the Burbank Bar and Grill down the street. So we get there and it's kinda crowded and we kind of awkwardly standing on the dance floor. Then the band comes on. The 80's cover band! It was fabulous. Mel and I just started dancing and singing and it was fantastic. We even met the bass player "Billy Midol" who by day works at an accounting firm (Sara want me to try and get you a job out here??). Long story short we danced the night away to the wonderful sounds of the 80s.

Now, there is a very large network of Syracuse grads out here because Newhouse is one of the top communication schools in the country and LA is where they all flock to. I know some of these grads because I was in Newhouse for a couple semesters (before I became part of the 2% who wouldn't graduate from Newhouse). Some of the SU kids were having a house party on Saturday, so Mel and I figured we might as well go meet up with some of them. It was a little awkward for me because although I knew some of them, I'm not really friends with most of them. I did however meet a very nice man from South Africa named Hein. He was actually really nice and was looking out for me when my roommate disappeared for awhile. At one point he told me "be careful- that guys just not that into you" Yes. He actually said that to me. Thanks for lookin out for me buddy.

Last night was also fun. Jackie didn't have to go to work today since it's a holiday so we thought we'd go play some Bingo. Melanie won the first round she played. I did not win once. Story of my life... haha. It was pretty cool although we were all a little tired from our long weekend. So here I am. Excited for my interview, but still nervous because I don't have tons and tons of prior experience. I miss home and my friends and family- but I still feel confident in my decision to move out here. It's nice to live with friends again.

Here's to hoping the sun comes out soon : )

Over a Week!

So, I've been in LA just over a week. I had a really good weekend. Mel took me out with her Friday night for dinner and dancing with a bunch of her friends. I was a little skeptical at first, but ended up having a really good time. Even when Melanie disappeared a couple times hmm hmm. Then Saturday we spent all day running around doing errands and picking stuff up for the apartment and our rooms. Then Jackie made us a fabulous Mexican dinner with all sorts of good stuff. Then we headed to this pub called Cat and the Fiddle for STRONGBOW <3. While we were there we happened to run into a bunch of SU kids we graduated with... so weird. Out of all the places to go and see we picked the same one, it still baffles me. On Sunday Al came over and we wondered around Melrose for awhile. Then Mel and I found a table and four chairs on Craigslist for $50 and we picked it up and set it up. It's a really nice set too, so we were pretty excited. Once we get a couch, we'll be set : )

Ok, so I was getting up to take the dog out for a walk and go to the gym and I got a call from one of the vet offices I sent my resume to and they asked me to come in and interview at noon. I quickly jumped on the chance and headed towards Santa Monica. I had my interview and I think it went really well. The Chief of Staff was from NJ as well (points!) then the office manager gave me a tour. They have enough room to board 65 dogs! Crazyness. So it seemed like they liked me and the office manager said she would call me later today to confirm coming in for a trial shift tomorrow. They also liked that I have experience as an assistant (more points!). So, hopefully I'll hear from her soon and start work and make money! I mean it's not ideal because it is a little far away, but if Melanie and I have similar hours we could totally carpool. Yay.

So, I think things are finally starting to fall into place. If I get this job such a weight will be lifted off of my shoulders. I may still need to get a second job, but we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I'll have some sort of set shifts so I can get a second job if needed. That's all I got for now. Peace out

Rainy day in LA

Ok, so most of my day today was spent trying to get the wireless internet to work and emailing as many people as possible hoping to find a job! I even sent my resume to a couple cat only clinics...which makes me sad because I love the dogs (plus I wouldn't get a discount for Rusty!) This whole finding a new job thing is hard. But there are about a million places in a 15 mile radius so I'm sure something will pop up right?

Anyway, I thought I would tell the fridge story and give a little description of my neighborhood. So, our apartment came with a washer/dryer and a dishwasher but no fridge. No our kitchen is in a corner and there's a counter top in an l-shape. When Mel found a fridge she measured to make sure it would fit (smart girl). However, the counter top juts out a little bit into the walkway so the fridge did not fit... Then we thought if we took the doors off it might work. After about an hour of tilting the fridge to get to the screws, we had the doors off. Still not small enough. OK- lets put it on its side and slide it under. Perfect! Not quite. We were able to slide it under but when we tried to put it right side up again it hit the corner of the counter top! Only one thing left to do. Lift the damn thing over our heads and over the counter. Which we were able to do. Then we had to put the doors back on. It was hilarious but quite the ordeal. But now we have a fridge and can keep things cold!

Anyway, onto Burbank. Burbank is ridiculously cute. There's a strip that has all sorts of food and shops and it's very chill. There's also a bunch of bigger stores within walking distance like ikea and some department stores. The weather has been absolutely beautiful up until today. There's even a dog park in walking distance (haven't quite gotten to that yet) and I only have to go a couple miles to go hiking! The first day I was here we ran into anothe SU alum crossing the road. Crazy. It's been pretty sweet so far, now I just need a job! I'm currently on phase 1 which is emailing and calling. Phase 2, stopping in with my resume/ refrences will be next week. Then phase 3 will be expanding to non-vet receptionist positions, then phase 4 will be applying to Target. No lie. Hopefully we don't have to get past phase 2 : )

So, that's where I stand. I'm waiting for it to stop pouring so I can take the dog out. The construction workers all love him and think he's amazing and has such a strong will. Oh, one last thing about Rusty. At home people would glance and maybe look confused for a second. Here, everyone points and talks about it within ear shot. They all look mortified... it's very unsettling. And telling to story over and over again is starting to get old.

More updates soon!

California Dreaming

Ok, so we arrive in California around lunchtime on Sunday just in time to head to the corner bar and watch the Superbowl. I can honestly say that one of the things I'll miss most is watching football games with my mom. Seriously, no one here will be as into the game as my mother. No one here will know all the players by their first names. So sad. Anyway, the last couple days have been a whirlwind. I've managed to accomplish some things, ie I now have a bed to sleep in and most of my clothes are unpacked/organized in my new portable closet. I still have to pick up a few things, but overall I'm getting there.

So, I decided that in order to save money I would decorate my room with my old black and white London pics. To make it look more classy I bought black foam board and mounted the pictures on them. Too bad I can't use a box cutter properly nor can I draw a strait line (even with the help of a ruler). Oh well, you can only tell if you stand closely... at least that's what I'm telling myself. This whole moving process is more expensive than I originally thought it would be. I mean I knew it would be expensive but there's no way I would be able to do this without the emotional and financial support of my mother. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings when it comes to my mom, so I hope she knows how much I appreciate all she's done for me in the last 22 years. I can't imagine how different my life would be without my mom. She's pretty much my best friend and confidant. I love her, and I don't tell her enough which makes me sad.

Anyway, I think my dog is more popular with my roomates than I am. They love him and can't get enough. All the things he does that drive me nuts, they find adorable. Go figure. At least I'll know he's being taken care of if I'm working two jobs. Melanie is determined she'll meet boys with him. She's probably right, because he is quite the conversation piece seeing as he only has three legs and all. So, I know there are a lot of minor details (like seeing seals in Santa Monica and funny waiters at the pizza joint), but this post is already too long. I'll give a summary of our apartment and I will tell the story about the fridge tomorrow, but for now I think this has gone on long enough.

Oh, I'm going to fill out an aplication for a job tomorrow. Kind of nervous, but excited at the same time. I just want to walk in there and them be like oh we're super desperate so we'll hire you on the spot! Here's to hoping.

Day two on the Road

So, I'm sitting in a Super 8 Motel in Amarillo, Texas after driving all day. Yesterday we left bright and early (and slightly hungover- thanks to all who helped contribute to that, haha) and drove to Effingham, Illinois. Drive wasn't too bad only hit a little bit of bad weather and not much traffic. Today there was slightly more traffic, but still not too bad. Being crammed in a tiny car with my mom and dog is going more smoothly than anticipated. My mom and I only argued about the giant cookie. I wanted to just throw it out because it kept falling on the dog and getting icing everywhere. She did not. She did not have to keep crawling into the back seat and clean icing off of everything. I won in the end and the cookie got tossed. Other than that it's been pretty drama free. She drove the entire day today and I'm pretty sure that was just because she wanted to listen to her book on tape. Side note, I am NOT a fan of books on tape. They're just way to slow and it bothers me that one person does the voice for every character. Thank goodness for ipods.

So, driving through very flat countryside at night causes one to think- way too much. I couldn't help but notice how many stars you can see. It makes you feel so small. I've had way too much time to think. I know I said I was giving fear the finger... but fear is much more powerful than I originally thought. As I was driving 15 hours a day for the last two days, it made me really think about what I'm leaving behind as well as the fact that I have no job and know a handful of people. I'm less worried about not having a job than I am about feeling lonely. I'm confident in my ability to get a job and less confident in my ability to meet people and make new friends... how messed up is that? I even started crying becuase I missed my cat. I felt really bad that I'm not bringing him considering he has been abandoned by his last two owners. I mean it's not like I'm putting him on the street he's just gonna hang out with my parents, but eithe way it made me really sad I left him behind.

I also realized how blessed I've been with the people in my life. My family is ridiculously supportive of the decisions I make. I have amazing friends that I've known forever and even though we may have grown apart in the past, we always make it back to each other. Randi accepted me into her group of friends with no hesitation. Dan has showed me that chivalry is not dead and there are still nice boys out there. Kate's free spirit is always refreshing, and Jen has been family to me for over ten years. She knows me better than most and sometimes it's a little scary. There are plenty of others who've made my life up to now pleasurable and bareable. I can only hope that I meet people out in California who are half as amazing as the people I left behind. I mean I know my roomates are amazing people, but I'm worried we'll have opposite schedules and I won't have anyone else to hang out with (at least not at first).

Well I should probably stop there, although I'm sure I could continue. We're only driving 11 hours tomorrow! haha We should make it to Kingman, Arizona. Happy Trails

This is my last day in New Jersey

So, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me why I was moving to California, I'd be a very happy girl. If I had five dollars every time I got a funny look after I explained I'd be even happier. It's hard to explain why I'm picking up out of the blue and driving 3000 miles to live on the other side of the country. The easiest explanation is the opportunity came up so I took it. There's a little bit of a backstory leading up to this so let me explain.

I graduated from Syracuse University in May. My group of friends, my support system, my rock- well they were all going off to chase their dreams, and they were going far. I mean really far. As for the roomates- China (yes China), Boston, Chicago, NYC, and DC. As for my APO loves- London (yes England), couple in Cali, Rochester, Georgia, Louisiana, you get the idea. Melanie was one of the closest in NYC (it only took 3 hours to get to her, no biggie) and then she dropped the bomb. She was moving to LA, and jokingly she said you should come with me! And I laughed, and then I stopped laughing and I thought you know what I should. Why not? I've lived in Jersey my entire life (minus the four years I was at Syracuse) how about a change. Now I'm not telling the entire story, so once again let me go back.

I said that I graduated in May, well about a week and a half after that I went on a two week roadtrip to move my other friend Jackie out to LA. Good times with good friends. Well when it was time to go home my boyfriend of four years picked me up from the airport and broke up with me in front of my house. My life was quickly spinning out of my countrol and it hit hard. Really hard. I had just lost the comfort of my best friends and roomates being available 24/7 and then my best friend and the one I loved was telling me he no longer wanted to be with me. It hurt. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. I had my routines, I went to work (which in all honesty is probably what kept me sane). I loved my job, I enjoyed going to work and I got a "blind" kitten and a three legged dog out of it in the process. I had my routines and things were going ok, and I was content, but that's not enough for me. I needed to get out of the rut I was living in. And then Allison moved to London and Melanie was moving to California and I was going to be alone yet again. I was tired of people leaving me, so I was going to be the one leaving this time.

Fate was in my favor and it turned out Jackie was looking for a new place to live as well. So here I was with the chance to move to California and try something new with two of my best friends. Now anyone who has known me for a long time would think there's no way I would just pick up and move for no good reason- it's not practical. To hell with Practical. I've lived my entire life by the rules. I went to school, got good grades, joined clubs, made everyone else around me happy- put my heart and soul into my relationship- it's exhausting! I want to screw up, I want to make mistakes, I want to live my life. Life's too short and it's a great big world out there. I want to see as much of it as I can before I die. Now I'd be lying if said being dumped had nothing to do with this. I'm tired of the constant reminders of him. I NEED a change of scenery. Some people might say I'm running from my problems and that won't solve anything, but I don't see it that way. I think getting dumped was a wake up call. Part of me was ready to settle down with him and stay in New Jersey and live in my nice little bubble. But I would have missed out on so many things. I don't want to miss out on anything. I'm still young and I have a lot of living to do.

So, I hope that clears some things up, but I wouldn't be surprised if you still don't understand because honestly I still don't understand. My gut is saying go, get away from here and for once I'm going to listen to it. Am I scared? ABSOLUTELY! But I'm through with fear. I'm looking fear in the face and giving him the finger. I'm doing what makes me happy for once. Bottom line. I'm doing what makes me happy for once, and it feels great.